sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize