i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
