That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
