Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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