Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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