all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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