I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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