by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
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Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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