If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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