you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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