Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
