Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
