His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
