tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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