can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
