Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
