So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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