Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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