She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
