therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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