so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
