I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
