He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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