there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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