You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
