Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
