This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
