yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
