'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
your like the ambassador to my penis.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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