if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
never play flip cup with pint glasses
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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