we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
