I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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