You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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