and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
