I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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