Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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