her vagine was all disorganized.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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