I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
