Got a toothbrush?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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