Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
