Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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