Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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