Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
