READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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