guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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