Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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