exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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