tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize