It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
