Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
