is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
