next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
