i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
two words: eviction party
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
