He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
