no you cant smoke seaweed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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