She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
40s are totally the cure
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
