I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
