You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
