I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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