you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize